Tuesday, May 22, 2012

You Might Be a Farmer if:

Sharing this tonight for anyone who needs to smile.


Your dog rides in the truck more than your wifeYou have driven off the road while examining your neighbor's crops
You have used a chainsaw to remodel your houseYou have buried a dog and cried like a baby
You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your drivewayYou always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at night
You have used something other than paper as toilet paperYou have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house
Your family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the newsYou don't bother to clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer, and the dog knows to stay out of your way
Your husband drives a friend home from the bar when he only lives 3 houses awayYou'll skip your own cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season ( and you know he would approve and would do the same if you died )
You have enough ball caps to match every shirt you own, but you only wear one so you don't get the others dirtyYou convince your wife that an overnight, out of State trip for parts is a vacation
You've never thrown away a 5 gallon bucketYou have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house
You have used baling wire to attach a license plateYou can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate, and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday
You have used a tractor with a loader as scaffolding for painting or roof repairsYou have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment
You've used the same knife to make bull calves into steers and peel applesYou wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not
Your wife agrees to observe Mother's Day after the beans are plantedOver 50% of your clothing came from feed or seed dealers
You give directions to your farm by using area landmarks, not road names or numberYou refer to farms by who owned them 50 or more years ago
You've been stopped by the deputy sheriff for a cluttered dashboardFamily weddings and special events are planned around spring planting and fall harvest
Your know that checkoff is not a Russian diplomatThe rusted out areas of your truck are sealed off with old tee-shirts or duck tape
You can eat an ear of sweet corn with no utensils in under 20 secondsYou pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair
It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across townYou can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feedlot
The meaning of true love is that you'll pose for a picture with both him and his favorite tractorThe meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him
You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-MartYou know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit
You know cow pies aren't made of beefYour excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out
Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, and pigsYou consider a romantic evening driving through Hardees and renting a hunting instructional video
You can tell it's a farmer working late in the field, know who it is, what they're doing, and not think it's a UFOYou listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon and never get tired of him saying, "Gooooood day"
Your nearest neighbor is in the next section, and you know what a section isYou actually understand the geographical neccesity of correction lines
When you were little, you "beat-up" another kid on school bus arguing over the color of tractorsYour other vehicle is a tractor

You know enough to get your driving done on Sundays before the "Sunday drivers" come out

If you were given $1,000,000.00 you would keep right on farming. You'd farm differently, but you'd keep farming because that is who and what you are

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