I know there are so many people praying for us and who have prayed for us. I can't imagine how much more terrible I could feel if you weren't - but I guess it can always be worse.
I thought this process was going to be a lot faster and well easier. I remember standing in the driveway with Jake watching our house burn and thinking well this Sucks. I guess we have a lot more work to do. Which I was right we have a ton of work ahead of us. However, I didn't realize the annoyances, mourning and pain that I was also going to have to go through. Apparently the people crying and praying with us that day did know this, and that is why I am guessing they were crying. I didn't realize this because I was in denial. Well friends denial is over and just in time for the Holidays I bring you anger and sadness. Topping off the list of things making me angry and sad are in no particular order - please ignore me. (I still love Jesus and the spirit of the season.)
1. Christmas Decorations - I will stand by your tree and cry at all of your kids handmade ornaments.
2. Hallmark Christmas Movies - I watch them for a reason to cry.
3. Going to the fridge for salad dressing I was sure I had bought, but apparently not recent enough to be in this fridge. The stage that a friend warned me about - going to look for things you no longer own is ANNOYING. (you were right George)
In preparation for HEALING and the Holidays I received two blessings from two of the best parts of my life. Within hours after the fire, our phones rang off the hook with inspiring words and support from across the country. It was during two of these conversations when I realized I had lost both my FFA Jacket and my OSU Livestock Evaluation Judging Belt Buckle.
One evening as I was driving to our friends house where we were staying. I was also driving out of cellular service, while talking with my college livestock judging coach on the other end of the phone. I turned around and headed back into town (so I didn't lose service). I pulled over at the Coop and began to cry as I just realized I had also lost my buckle. I reminded myself I don't actually need the buckle to hold my pants up or anything - but it was reminder of one of the best times of my life. I had hoped to share this with my own kids, but had yet to, even though Jacie was an official livestock judger herself. He quickly said "oh we can replace that". I said, "what, how?"
Today Jake brought two packages home from the Feedyard. I am asking myself the same question. How could both of these came on the same day, from two different people that neither knew what the other was doing? Blessings and Grace
Thank you friends and family. It will be a journey and I apologize for my sarcasm, crying and snide remarks. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!